Golf – A Good Walk Spoiled

When one looks at the history and public awareness of golf , it is easy to see how this supposedly most relaxing of games has received attention from wits through the ages. The trend for humorous golf quotations was arguably lead by writer and traveller Mark Twain, who when asked to define the sport quipped it was: “a good walk spoiled”. The phrase has since become synonymous with golf itself, even leading to a Mark Twain Golf Course being opened.

However, Twain is not the only historical or cultural figure to make a lasting comment about golf. Some of the mutterings from notable – and occasionally not-so-notable – individuals have gone down in golfing folklore, providing plenty of opportunity for both fans of the game and fans of clever wit to enjoy.

A favourite for those who subscribe to the popular notion of golf as a game for gentlemen are often found to quote American journalist Art Spander. Spander himself must agree with this idea, as he once said: “golf is a game not just of manners, but of morals.” Lovers of the sport will also find great resonance with the following words, said by American – now retired – golfer Arnold Palmer: “Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.” Both quotes, from Spander and Palmer, are often repeated by modern golfing enthusiasts.

However, those in possession of drier wit – and arguably a less worshipful opinion of the game – have turned their attentions to golf also. American writer and humorist Dave Barry once famously said: “for me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. Barry is not alone in lamenting the difficulties of the game; another famous quote is “many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the car cannot count, criticize or laugh.”

However, the true stars of golfing quotations of the unknowns, whose words have passed through generations purely due to their dryness and intelligent. Perhaps the best known is: “when I die, I want to be buried on a golf course because at least my husband might visit then.” An equally dark and equally amusing quote is as follows: “Golf can be described as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.”

We shall conclude, as we began, with writer Mark Twain. As well as the most famous golfing quote of all time, he also spoke of the sport with the following: “It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”

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A History of Balls And Holes: Golf Through The Ages

In terms of the sports modern society is used to, golf has one of the longest and most interesting histories. This is a sport that has been dominating the public conscious for nearly 500 years, and as with anything with roots in Medieval times, has been forced to adapt and change as the world around it does so too.

The first game of recorded golf was in 1456 in Edinburgh, Scotland. This, however, does not mean the Edinburgh game was the first time the sport was played, merely that it was the first time a person took the time to write down the events. In a period of low literacy levels, it is little wonder that some golfing historians say the game has social origins up to 200 years before the first recorded date.

The game itself was recorded in the archives of the Edinburgh Burgess Golfing Society, and can still be seen today. This confirms golf as a primarily Scottish game, which soon became popular throughout Europe and eventually the world. Much of the spread from Scotland is attributed to King James, who in 1603 became the first monarch of both Scotland and England, creating what we now know as the United Kingdom. Having grown up in Scotland, when King James became King of England following the death of his kinswoman Elizabeth I, the game came south with him. Golf obviously now has a worldwide appeal, yet the Scottish roots remain, with many famous courses still being played by world famous players in the northern country.

The foundation of golf is widely accepted to be the act, usually done by shepherds, of knocking stones into rabbit holes in Scotland during tedious watchings of sheep flocks. From these humble beginnings, the worldwide popular game we now know and love is believed to have stemmed.

All of the traits we associate with modern golf originated and were developed in Scotland. This includes the first 18-hole golf course, the first set of written rules of play and the first membership of golf clubs. The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of Saint Andrews is a popular destination for the golfing fan, due to their vast collection of documentation about the foundation of the game.

While some argue that golf has changed and developed from a basic game of hitting stones into rabbit holes to the cultural phenomenon it is today, others say simply: it’s still just about hitting stuff into holes. While this opinion may be crude, it is nevertheless truthful!

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Golf Clubs – No, The Other Kind

When you take up golf, one thing that you will almost always seek to do is get membership of a club. The fact that a club is both something you use to hit a golf ball and something you join in order to get the chance to hit a golf ball has led to no small amount of confusion in the past. But simply put, if your friend tells you he is going to join a golf club, he probably does not mean that he is going to attach himself to a reinforced titanium stick while, unless your friend is very wealthy, should he tell you he is going to buy a golf club on his lunch break, he probably doesn’t mean he is off to put a down payment on several acres of real estate.

Joining a golf club is actually surprisingly difficult in many cases. There has been no small amount of controversy in the past over people seeking to join one and being refused on what seemed like either very arbitrary, or possibly heavily discriminatory, grounds. One of the world’s most famous clubs, the Augusta National (home to major golf competition the US Masters), first had a black member in 1990. As of yet, it has never had a female member, although it does allow women to play the course as guests of its members. The Augusta National is far from the only club not to have female members, but it is – as the current permanent home of the Masters – the highest-profile club with single-sex membership. Its chairman, Hootie Johnson, says that the club may well have female members in the future, but that he will not be threatened into making a change.

In general, though, most golf clubs have a far more relaxed membership policy than the Augusta National or Scotland’s Muirfield, although in many cases membership policy is dictated by the club’s current members whose own opinions and motivations are theirs and theirs alone. The best way to ensure you can get membership of a club is to be friends with someone who is already a member. A little light lobbying on their part, and if you are lucky, you’ll be given the call.

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